Slept till one
Got called fat and ugly
Self esteem is shot
I ate my way through manhattan today
Karen and I took a 2:20 into the city. We took the subway uptown and had a snack at Pie Face. It was wonderful.
We walked around the upper west side (my favorite part of Manhattan) for a while. Stopped at a Duane reade for a drink and ogled the puppies we saw as we walked about.
We were stopped on the corner, looking up the address for where we wanted to go for lunch, and this guy crossed the street. He dropped a portfolio type thing filled with papers and he had headphones in so he didn’t hear anyone call for him. I jaywalked/jaysprinted(?) across the intersection to get it back to him. I have a habit of running through the street in manhattan to help people.
That was my one good deed of the day.
We took the subway to Mac Bar. I had the margarita Mac and it was flawless. I will never eat macaroni the same way again.
We took the subway to Madison square garden after we ate. We went right in and got to our seats. We met one of Karen’s friends and her sister their. Karen’s friend was very cranky but her sister was cool.
the concert was so amazing. We saw Magic Man, Walk The Moon, and Panic! At The Disco. It was so wonderful. Panic’s setlist was flawless.
Brendon Urie heard someone say positive hardcore so they did Positive Hardcore Thursday on a Tuesday and it made my life. I got to witness positive hardcore live. !!!!!!
Went back to Penn and got froyo while waiting for the train. Just got home a bit ago. I’m so tired.
Today was so wonderful. I didn’t have a single sad thought while I was with Karen. Of course now that I’m alone, they’re pouring in but I don’t even care. Ok I care a little
Either way, I’m so happy I got to spend today with Karen I love her so much. I see her again on Thursday.
Hope I didn’t miss anything.
hi this is my best friend sarah and her puppy griffin
I love them both so very much
Posting a picture of Sarah today because she was the first person to care to check on me today and she tried so hard to make me feel better despite the fact that I feel like actual shit and I love her so much.
Plus she’s super pretty, y’know?
I watched movie after movie today. I really don’t feel well
I just want affection idk
P!atd is tomorrow.
I am love with this ring.
Finding Nemo was the last movie I saw with my mom before
I slept all day. Didn’t drag myself out of bed until five.
I made the mistake of watching tfios. It’s just about over.
This is ridiculous and I sound ridiculous but I really need to stop watching movies about cancer and death and depression etc
As dumb as it sounds, it was personable. Obviously I’m not dying of thyroid cancer I still have both my legs and my boyfriend hasn’t just died but fuck
Any sort of death seems to remind me both of my mother and how much I want to die
Cancer reminds me of my own disease and how I’m should have gone into remission by now but I still haven’t. I don’t feel normal I just wanna be normal
I sound so stupid I’m just gonna stop talking. No one cares about my trains of thought.
My head feels like penn station tonight.
Today was a long day
Woke up showered went to the mall with shari and kristina
People wrote on the sharpie things at target. I found a girl’s URL and followed her. I messaged her and she followed me back. It was great
I was tempted to buy more shoes.
Then we went back to Shari’s house and played games and watched stuff and tried to water marble our nails
Kristina and I got dinner and went to the playground
Went back to Shari’s and watched snow queen and laughed at it. Got Shari addicted to the app Aerox.
Ate a lot of candy today oops.
We did some pages in her wreck this journal
Here I am
I ASKED MY SISTER TO GET THESE RINGS FOR ME AND SHE DID AND THEY WERE WAITING FOR ME AT HOME I LOVE HER. One says “Just keeps swimming” and the other says “go on and kiss the girl” over and over. Two Disney movies very near and dear to my heart.
It was a wonderful day and I’m so happy I got to see Shari and Kristina I missed them so so so much
Went to Sarah’s house when I woke up. We watched stuff and I ate a lot and it was a really great day over all. I’m waiting for dad to get home so I can buy my ticket to see the maine. Hopefully they’re not sold out
Hey he’s home
EDIT: they currently seem to be sold out. I hope they add more tickets :/
I love this dog with everything in me
Took a personality test. Two, rather. First one was a bit off. 16personalities.com was spot on for me
Today was very blah. After downing a handful or so of pills, I hardly slept and then threw up. I showered and crawled back into bed.
Karen came at four and we worked on my song a bit. I had to give up the money I made on Monday. I was eighteen dollars short. Sigh. I also need money for the train on Tuesday, money for my birthday concert (the maine), and money for Jared’s birthday present. I hate money and how I never have it. I don’t think I’m getting my iPad this year :///
I wanted to sleep after Karen left but I couldn’t so I just laid in bed until seven. I got up and got dressed and Kacy showed up at 7:30. She brought my baby with her!!!! I love him with all my heart.
Therapy was really pointless today. All we talked about was what I’m doing this summer. I couldn’t bring myself to mention anything important though. I told about what happened last Thursday with dad. I don’t really know what she thought of that. Didn’t at all try to reassure me that it wasn’t my fault. She probably agreed. It was my fault.
Got food on the way home. Dad made a comment on it. Didn’t eat it. Gave it to my brother. I’m too fat.
I’ve been in my room since I came home. Currently trying to convince Jared to watch Hercules with me but he sucks so I’m probably not gonna watch it
I honestly feel like shit I don’t even know what to do at this point.
I’m going to Sarah’s house tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll feel better with her.
slept all day. don’t know why i’m sleeping so much.
continued to watch say yes to the dress. i’m ogling over wedding dresses again. this ridiculous dress is actually a dream. if i could just get rid of the shoulder thing, this dress would be so perfect. or a lazaro. i like wedding dresses idk.i probably won’t ever get to wear one.
i forgot to take my pill againnnnnnnnnn ughhhhhhhhhhhhh i have to go do that now
I’m honestly just really bored and ready for summer to be over
Mia made this little guy for me yesterday. He’s hanging out on my bedside table.
EDIT: when I first posted this, the little guy wasn’t even there. Whoops. Now the other post won’t delete. Guess I’ll get rid of it tomorrow.
I don’t know what this face is
I slept till noon.
I’ve been watching random movies and stuff all day.
I made Chinese for dinner.
Went to the store to get hair stuff and candy and painkillers
Home now. Ate a whole lot of ice cream.
Karen moved my lesson so I have no plans for tomorrow. She’s coming at four on Thursday. I have therapy at eight that night. We’re going to p!atd on Tuesday.
I’m tired and blah
Talking to Jared and watching say yes to the dress.
First day of work today. Probably the easiest ninety bucks I’ll ever make.
Had to get up at six. Ew. I hardly slept last night.
Got to the house, gave the kids breakfast, made some artsy stuff, played video games, had lunch, went out and into the pool, watched a movie.
The kids are really great and they gave me no trouble whatsoever. I love this job.
I won’t have to go back until next week though.
I got home at 4:30 or so and I ate a bit and then promptly passed out. I woke up at ten and now I’m kinda hungry again but dad wants to go somewhere or do something. I don’t know what we can do at eleven pm so I guess I’ll see where this goes.